Tiger Jesus' Bitch

Japanese. Im going to do it if I have to kill every last one of you. I will do this in the SUMMER. 
JAPANESE
 

I went to a house party where everyone I knew at it left after about 10 mins of our (me and the <3) arrival! It was xkcd themed and had props and art rooms everywhere! The set up was unassailably cool, but we were mostly just talking to each other and laughing and wandering about. It was pretty awesome actually, but might have been cooler with more humans I knew about. It takes me a while sometimes. Shortly after midnight we left and went to my tiny little room and rang in the New Year properly. 

This year!  

I need to more heavily commit to things.
   I feel like a lot of what I do is half assed and distracted. 
YouTube!  
   Movies comics and basically a love letter. Once a week at least. 
STICK WITH bjj and flamenco
   This involves being more careful with money so that I can always afford classes. 
Be more careful with money.
   i dont act right with money. It is better then it was, but I need to cut out the easy stuff.
Be more careful with food.
   I have celiac disease and Im not careful about it. It hurts when Im not careful, so I should probably wise up. 
Finish my degree. 
   I have little choice in this, but after the summer Ill have a Bachelors! After which I will take a year off to work and relax and    then Ill be applying to library school!
Be more social. 
   Seriously.
Tie up lose ends. (Sheridan, language choice and debts)
Stop cutting my hair. 
Have more actual fun vs. escapist bullshit.

That should do it!

As it always is with my family, Christmas was surreal.

My mother is now in Alanon (which is for the families of alcoholics). Her decision to go to that one and not just AA  was strange since she was drunk for basically the entirety of my early adolescence (about 10-15). I find her strange because he personality is so mutable, so changing. One minute she trying her best to be cultured and fancy and the next she's guttering off like a redneck. She's always been a bit difficult to deal with, as she is pretty mentally ill, but I think she is losing it again/now/finally. She is about 80 lbs overweight and needs new knees, that they won't give her until she loses the weight. She had told me that she was fixing her left arm (physio and drainage cuffs etc) but it was as huge as ever. The lines in her face are like cracks, fissures deep into fiesh. Worse then her physical mess was the mental stuff. She has become profoundly racist, self-righteous and self-pitying. Her house was filthy and in disrepair. (I opened a cabinet and all the glasses were greasy with dust sticking to the grease. I didnt inherit this drive for cleanliness and order, I assure you). The food she made was gross. I hate to say it, but everything was boiled within an inch of its life and was bland. She was a good cook once. I feel like I should do something, send her books save up and get her a monthly maid or a personal trainer. I don't know. I don't even know where to start. 

My stepfather is in straight up AA. We still get along, we still try not to piss each other off and get along despite our differences. He is super into the program and it seems to have made him learn new things, so we have some ground on which to speak. 

Jeannine. She has been around Christmas for about 5 year now. She was addicted to crack for like 10 years and then drank herself out of a job 2 years ago. She is now a Wiccan and a vegan. She has a profound sadness about her that threatens everything around her. At least I felt like it was going to consume me. She has been ruined by her family and the bad relationships she has had. She doesnt blame anyone else for her problems, but can mark her addictions by the end of people's relationship with her. She seems to just be trying everything she can to be happy but is not, she just is not. 

I was relieved to get out of there to have a normal happy Christmas with my BFF. We watched Die Hard and I made some un-gross food. We played video games and leg-on-top (I ALWAYS win leg-on-top). And there was peace. 

I had this journal 2 years ago and abandoned it because of a fight between my team ('the winners') and another team ('the weepy bitches'), and what the fuck is that about? Let weepy bitches rule how I use a stupid blog? NO! So Ive returned :) There will be less butt photos and more comic books! 

Enjoy!

I sort of forgot I had it! Im going to use it again!

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